Remember the Ladies

05 Nov Remember the Ladies

Remember the Ladies’: In Alexandria, Authors Make the Case for America’s First Ladies

At TWIG event at the Lyceum, authors of “Remember the First Ladies” explore how presidents’ wives shaped American history, from Dolley Madison’s political savvy to Edith Wilson’s “petticoat government.”

Authors (l-r) Diana B. Carlin; Anita B. McBride and Nancy Kegan Smith discuss their book about America’s First Ladies in a discussion moderated by Susan Swain at the Lyceum in Old Town Alexandria.

There are no formal rules, no job description, no salary and no constitutionally defined role, but the nation’s first ladies have had profound and lasting impacts on American governance and society and in some cases, on world affairs.

“They have been consequential to our history,” said Alexandrian Susan Swain, the moderator of a presentation last week at the Lyceum in Old Town Alexandria. “Throughout history, first ladies have helped their spouses get elected, advised them on politics and policy, advanced social issues, served as comforters-in-chief and more, but their stories have only recently begun to be told.

At the event, sponsored by The Twig, the three authors of Remember the First Ladies: The Legacies of America’s History-making Women, explored the challenges and contributions of many U.S. presidents’ wives: Alexandrian Nancy Kegan Smith, former director of the Presidential Materials Division at the National Archives and Records Administration; Anita B. McBride, former chief of staff to first lady Laura Bush and director of the First Ladies Initiative at American University and Diana B. Carlin, professor emerita of communication at Saint Louis University.

The first ladies have had a “sisterhood across party lines,” Smith said, especially during times of intense pressure and controversy. Dolley Madison counseled Julia Tyler and Sarah Polk. Jackie Kennedy supported Nancy Reagan. Laura Bush and Nancy Reagan defended Michelle Obama. Melania Trump attended the funerals of former first ladies Barbara Bush and Rosalynn Carter.

Author Susan Swain, co-CEO and president, C-SPAN

Wielding Influence and Power

The first lady’s role has evolved over time, shaped by each woman’s talents and the public’s expectations.

Some first ladies have championed causes, like Lady Bird Johnson’s campaign to beautify Washington. Michelle Obama led Let’s Move to reduce childhood obesity. Rosalynn Carter had a mental health campaign.  At a time when no one said the words “breast” or “cancer” publicly, Betty Ford, wife of Gerald (who lived in Alexandria when he first became president), talked openly about her breast cancer and mastectomy and urged women to get examinations.  Many women credited Ford’s candor with saving their lives, said Carlin.

Many presidential wives have supported military families and veterans, like Martha Washington, Michelle Obama and Jill Biden. Several have worked on preserving the White House, including Dolley Madison, Mamie Eisenhower and Jackie Kennedy. Abigail Fillmore created a library.

Many first ladies have wielded soft power. Martha Washington, wife of George, the first president, took on a ceremonial, quasi-diplomatic role at dinners, said Carlin. She held regular receptions open to the public.  James Madison valued the political skills of his wife, Dolley, who used bipartisan entertaining for political purposes, McBride explained.  She even went to congressional debates

Sarah Polk, wife of James, was “one of the most powerful,” said Carlin. She brought opposing sides together, managed her husband’s schedule and even wrote some of his speeches.

McBride highlighted Edith Wilson, wife of Woodrow, who suffered a stroke and was partially paralyzed for 17 months.  Edith shielded him from the press, the public and his own cabinet members. Attacked for running “a petticoat government,” she controlled access to him and papers to and from him. Historians debate whether she was a surrogate president, an interpreter or a courier for the president.

As for influencing the president, Nancy Reagan famously commented, “I’m the first one he sees in the morning and the last one he sees at night and I will take full advantage of that.”

“Some husbands have used their wives for things they cannot do,” Carlin noted. Eleanor Roosevelt became “the great activist model” in what Smith called a “political marriage.” Eleanor’s husband Franklin had had an affair and Eleanor said she “could forgive but never forget,” Smith said.

Eleanor championed civil rights, helping arrange for Marian Anderson to perform in 1939 at the Lincoln Memorial when the Daughters of the American Revolution blocked her from performing at Constitution Hall because of her race. “It was the biggest civil rights event ever before Rev. Martin Luther King’s 1963 ‘I Have a Dream’ speech at the March on Washington,” Smith said.

One of the most underrated first ladies was Pat Nixon, Carlin opined. And though some of President Nixon’s advisors were “dismissive of her,” she represented her husband and spoke for him in 81 countries. “Only Hillary Rodham Clinton eclipsed that record,” Carlin noted.

Presidential wives did not necessarily kowtow to their husbands or the traditional stereotypes of women of their time.  Abigail Adams, John’s closest advisor, spoke up for women’s rights, and in the book is called “a reformer ahead of her time.” When John was at the 1776 Continental Congress, Abigail wrote her famous letter, “I desire you would Remember the Ladies, and be more generous and favourable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the Husbands. Remember all Men would be tyrants if they could. If perticuliar care and attention is not paid to the Ladies we are determined to foment a Rebelion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any Laws in which we have no voice or Representation.”

When some of President Gerald Ford’s advisors suggested that he rein in his wife for supporting the Equal Rights Amendment, he replied, “You go down the hall and talk to Betty.” Franklin Roosevelt said in essence, “I cannot control Eleanor,” Smith said with a chuckle.

Defining Her Place

“…in the end each woman defined the position to make it her own.”

— Remember the First Ladies

The first ladies often had to fight for office space in the White House complex, the speakers noted. In 1977, Rosalynn Carter put the Office of the First Lady in the now-demolished East Wing, which, despite encroachments by some White House staffers, became “the domain of the first lady,” McBride said.

Alexandria stylist Monte Durham (a Jackie Kennedy aficionado and member of the National Advisory Council for National First Ladies Library and Museum) asked if any first ladies got fashion advice. McBride said that Mary Todd Lincoln had a dressmaker and spent much money on “New York fashion.”  In her era, many thought “westerners were uncouth,” McBride explained, and Lincoln wanted to counter that view and appear “elegant and sophisticated.”  Similarly, Grace Coolidge, who grew up in Vermont, dressed elegantly to dispel the then-image of rural women.

Jackie Kennedy had an extensive wardrobe, “a style of her own,” McBride said. Eleanor Roosevelt had “lovely clothes,” but there’s always “how one carries her clothes,” McBride commented.

What will happen when the nation has a first gentleman? Carlin contended that “Jill Biden paved the way” by keeping her teaching job as an English professor and writing teacher at Northern Virginia Community College in Alexandria. McBride noted that Melania Trump runs a production company.

Why First Ladies?

Despite their power and influence, first ladies have been largely overlooked in historical accounts, many written by men, the authors maintain.

Smith shared this view: “History has been pretty male-centric which is why first ladies and what they have done, their impact and legacy has not really been focused on until the start of the mid-20th century. It is still an evolving story, but these women and the important societal and sometimes global impact need to be considered and written about, not just as a partner to their husband but for their own achievements. They have left lasting legacies in education, literacy, mental health and health, civil rights, equality, aiding the military and their families, the environment and beautification of our country, to name just a few.”

Carlin’s interest began in middle school, when she read biographies of Martha Washington and Abigail Adams. A professor, Carlin developed a course on women in politics and came to realize that first ladies are significant political players. “Learning about their impactful role on their husbands, the presidency and history is important to gain a more complete understanding of American history,” she said.

Cognella Academic Publishing published the book in 2024.

Moderator Susan Swain retired in 2024 from a four-decade journalism career, including being co-chief executive officer of C-SPAN. She helped create a year-long series, “First Ladies: Influence and Image,” and wrote the follow-on book with C-SPAN, First Ladies: Presidential Historians on the Lives of 45 Iconic American Women (PublicAffairs). She is on the board of the First Ladies Association for Research and Education (FLARE).

The event attracted 85 people. The Twig is an Alexandria-based nonprofit founded in 1933. Twig President Maureen McGuire-Kuletz told the gathering that the organization has raised $5.8 million for Inova Alexandria Hospital.

For more information or to order “Remember the First Ladies: The Legacies of America’s History-Making Women,” visit the publisher, Cognella Academic Publishing.